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| And Still She Rises... A Suicide or A Savior? - By Carole Eilenberg
Women In Motion Magazine
I never met Leann - but really I have. I have met her in so many women. And I have met her especially in her mother.
I have never met Leann but I know I know her. I have seen her. I have experienced her. I have felt her. I have worked to understand her. I have sought to learn from her and bared her witness as often as I was privileged to do so.
Was she a suicide or a savior? Who was her witness? Who will speak her testimony?
Her mother bears witness. Speaks her testimony. The witness she bears she may wish at times was false. But it is all too true.
One night Leann's boyfriend beat her for the very last time. It was her decision that it was the very last beating. She took her life a few hours after - with a .38 special - one shot through the mouth. And still she rises. I feel I can say world-renowned about Leann, because Leann was a 25-year-old woman of the world whose death has given rise to many women - one soul.
I can't help associating her with Jesus, who for many has come to represent the act of rising again. She is the woman next door, the woman down the street, the woman on the bus, in the car, at school, at work - everywhere you look. Now she is dead...yet still she rises.
From her mother Cindy Fox, I learned that Leann was brassy, sassy and bold. Beautiful and so - in control. She had the world at her fingertips and men at her feet. She was feared and fearless. Her suicide was a CHOICE - but also a horrible sacrifice of a life from which, through the mother, women can learn and grow.
Cindy has ingested Leann. At one point - literally. After 10 months of not wanting to let go, in September Cindy finally took Leann's ashes out on a boat to scatter them into what turned out to be a forceful wind that blew them right smack back inside Cindy - to the place where Leann began her life.
Since then, Cindy knew exactly what her calling had become. With more grace and gratitude than I have ever seen or thought possible, Cindy travels anywhere she is silently or blatantly called - and speaks. Speaks out to women - all women in need of her words. Her words that connect them to their own brave souls. Her words that go so deep with inspiration that these women have no choice but to allow their lives to change almost before their very eyes. Practically on the spot.
The content of Cindy's talk centers around having been beaten herself as both a child and a wife. How she was addicted to chemicals and through poor judgment made some bad CHOICES. How she was possessed by anger and oppressed by the powerful weakness of others. How if you don't forgive your aggressor then you become them. How she divided her demons within and conquered them all.
As women, we do not always seem to know what we are, what we have - and what we can become. Cindy, whose name is synonymous with chrysalis, recreates, reconnects women in need of her words back to their spirits - those that may have been asleep - hurting, grieving, lost, tired - alone.
With gentle force, she invites these women to rise. I have experienced Cindy the Crystallizing, Crowned - re-Creator, several times over the past few months. The day I met her I was transformed. I then heard her speak to a group of women captive by their own bad CHOICES - I watched the women listen and I watched many of them break down to their deepest bottoms and begin to rebuild. Into - and I am not stretching this - pillars of inner strength. She led them into the place of getting in touch with what had been hiding inside all the time. As in The Wizard of Oz - you know the Tin Man always HAD a HEART, you know the Lion always HAD COURAGE. You know the Scarecrow always HAD a BRAIN. You know Dorothy had to SURRENDER and find her way back home - inside - where HAPPINESS existed all along.
Cindy will give you all she's got and still she'll rise. She'll merge, resurge and restore you to yourself. She'll reveal to you, all your gifts, opened. And then you begin to also rise - with her.
Leann is the serenity and Cindy is the prayer. Leann is the peace and Cindy is the dove. Leann is the poetry and Cindy is the motion. Leann is the phoenix and Cindy is the flame. Leann is the divine and Cindy the intervention. Together they are one.
Cindy is unlike any women you have ever met and yet she is just like you. She is you - the you, you need to live with and the you, you must not live without.
Alone now - Cindy will take your greatest fear and make it brave. Your deepest hurt and make it heal. She'll take your cavernous grief and brighten its horizon.
I strongly suggest you come drink from her cup - which runneth over in grace, gratitude and greatness.
I can safely guarantee your life will change. She will glow in your dark and re-ignite your spark.
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